So, dear Journal, no shit, there I was, about to die. There’s this guy, Captain Gaponenko. He’s in charge of this group of the armija ne dykhanie. He’s a good sort, but his Louie looks like he’s right out of the vats, his sergeants are no fun at all, but Gappy’s a good sort. Even if he puts away that vile potato mash they drink up there in Karrnath. Dragon Above, there’s a reason that I make my home in Sharn, not the House seat. Up there, you can’t get good wine to save your life, it’s frozen for half the winter, and Siberys forbid anyone crack a smile. But, I digress. Anyhow, so Cannith and I are playing for silvers down in the bar, mostly just to keep from death by boredom. The sergeants are down, pouring down that rotgut, when I notice the halfling go drifting towards them. Crap, this isn’t going to go down well. So, First Shirt there happens to turn around at exactly the right time, smacks the boy in the face, realizes what happens.
Well, shit. So, he flips out, and goes crashing into the table that Cin and Stumpy are at. Stumpy manages to flip the table over onto the guy, pinning him down. Snap decision, Gaponenko won’t really mind much if I do this in order to keep his men from getting tossed overboard. So, slipped off the stage, drapped the cloak over me to cover the fact that I’m obviously not wearing a Karnnathi Army uniform, then Change into the Captain.
“Atten-HUT!” I bark out in my best parade ground imitation, betting on inebriation to deal with the cognative dissonance that he wasn’t there a second ago, and NCO’s are the ones who are supposed to be able to appear at will when their men are fucking up.
Well, the two snap to attention, just in time to…pass out? Man, they must have been drunker then I’d thought! Oh, no wait. There’s Aegon, reading something and sipping at that pansy ass tincture of ground up burnt beans he’s always got. Kaufy? Something like that.
So, the bouncer piles them up at my feet, and I mutter something about going to get the other officer to help me, sprint over to Gappy’s cabin, and explain everything (except for the whole Changing thing. And the halfling’s role in the whole thing. Leave that out, too. Alright, so I just tell him that his men got hammered and started a barfight that we cleaned up for him. It’s not really a lie.)
So, landing in Zarash’ak we disembark, and the Karnnathi go off on their mission, whatever the hell it was. (Man, Lev is a tightlipped sonnabitch. I found it easier to get info out of the Sharn Chapterhead of Emerald Claw. ‘course, that was pillow talk, but…meh. Anyhow, that’s in another country, and besides, the wench never existed in the first place)